Simon's spry, sedulous spouse, Sally Short, sewed skirts, stitched sheets, stuffed Sofas. Simon's six stout sons - Seth, Samuel, Stephen, Saul, Silas, Shadrach – sold sundries. Sober Seth sold sugar, spices; simple Sam sold saddles, stirrups, screws; sagacious Stephen sold silks, satins, shawls; sceptical Saul sold silver salvers; selfish Shadrach sold salves, shoe strings, soap, saws, skates; slack Silas sold Sally Short's stuffed sofas.
Some seven summers since, Simon's second son Samuel saw Sophia Sophronia Spriggs somewhere. Sweet, smart, sensible Sophia Sophronia Spriggs. Sam soon showed strong symptoms. Sam seldom stayed storing, selling saddles. Sam sighed sorrowfully, sought Sophia Sophronia's society, sung several serenades, slyly. Simon stormed, scolded severely; said Sam seemed so silly singing such shameful, senseless songs. 'Strange Sam should slight such splendid sales!' Strutting spendthrift! Scattered-brained simpleton.' 'Softly, softly, sire,' said Sally. - 'Sam's smitten; Sam’s spied some sweetheart.' 'Sentimental schoolboy!' snarled Simon. 'Smitten! Stop such stuff.' Simon sent Sally's snuffbox spinning, seized Sally's scissors, smashed Sally's spectacles, scattering several spools. 'Sneaking scoundrel! Sam's shocking silliness shall surcease!'
Scowling, Simon stopped speaking, started swiftly shopward. Sally sighed sadly. Summoning Sam, she spoke sweet sympathy. 'Sam,' said she, 'sire seems singularly snappy; so, solicit, sue, secure Sophronia speedily, Sam.' ‘so soon? So soon?' said Sam, standing stock-still. 'So soon, surely,' said Sally smilingly, 'specially since sire shows such spirits.' So Sam somewhat scared, sauntered slowly, shaking stupendously. Sam Soliloquises: 'Sophia Sophronia Spriggs, Spriggs - Short - Sophia Sophronia Short - Samuel Short's spouse - sounds splendid! Suppose she should say - she shan't - she shan't!'
Soon Sam spied Sophia starching shirts, singing softly. Seeing Sam she stopped Starching, saluting Sam smilingly. Sam stammered shockingly. 'Spl-spl-splendid summer season, Sophia.'
'Selling saddles still, Sam?' 'Sar-sar-tin,' said Sam, starting suddenly. 'Season's somewhat sudorific,' said Sam, steadily, staunching streaming sweat, shaking sensibly. 'Sartin,' said Sophia, smiling significantly. 'Sip some sweet sherbet, Sam.' (Silence sixty seconds.)
'Sire shot sixty shelldrakes, Saturday,' said Sophia. 'Sixty? Sho!' said Sam. (Silence seventy-seven seconds.) 'See sister Susan's sunflowers,' said Sophia socially, silencing such stiff silence. Sophia's sprightly sauciness stimulated Sam strangely; so Sam suddenly spoke
sentimentally; 'Sophia, Susan's sunflowers seem saying Samuel Short, Sophia Sophronia Spriggs, stroll serenely, seek some sequestered spot, some sylvan Shade.
Sparkling springs shall sing soul-stirring strains; sweet songsters shall silence secret sightings; super-angelic sylphs shall' - Sophia snickered; so Sam stopped. 'Sophia,' said Sam solemnly. 'Sam,' said Sophia. 'Sophia, stop smiling; Sam Short's sincere. Sam's seeking some sweet spouse, Sophia.' Sophia stood silent. 'Speak Sophia, speak; such suspense speculates sorrow.'
'Seek sire, Sam, seek sire.' So Sam sought sire Spriggs; sire Spriggs said 'Sartin.'. . .
Salutations
